This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
