youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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