I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
