Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
