i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
