I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
