Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
