dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
