I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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