Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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