Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
