I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Randomize