we have officially lost it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
