I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
