Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
