fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
