I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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