yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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