So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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