So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
