My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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