I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
