Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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