Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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