I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
