how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
