She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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