I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
