Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
