I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wish my penis had a tongue
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
