Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do herpes really smell.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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