Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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