So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
