Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think i have two assholes
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
