We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need to calm my uterus...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
