last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
