You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I just sharted jello shots
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