Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize