i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
