my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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