happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
