I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize