And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
