Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
