My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
