I heard we made out
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
