he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
