but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
