I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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