he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
