U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
