so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
