I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
