the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
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I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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