Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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