I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
