Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
