If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
