I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
