i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
