I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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