I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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