I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
