Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Text me some of your sweat
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
