return my video game
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
