Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
