I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
