This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
