I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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