she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He has the fingertips of a God
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
