time to smoke my breakfast
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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