& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
